The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
