i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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