wat bout pragnant strippers??
grandma shit on top of the toilet
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
