I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
do herpes really smell.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
