Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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