Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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