"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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