Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
