I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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