Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
