I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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