When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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