i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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