If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize