Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
