He had one of those small greek statue penises
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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