He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
