I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
