Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
this will be a night to untag.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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