Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
