I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
