I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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