i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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