I've blown a few things in my day
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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