PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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