ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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