when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
