Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
