you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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