Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
