Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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