Having a random hookup so left but love u
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
