stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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