So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
