okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
