when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
