Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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