I bet he comes in French.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize