You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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