i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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