$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
