dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
