spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I didn't notice because vodka
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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