I'm going to jail i love you
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
