the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
