I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
