Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
