guys are not supposed to queef...right?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
