I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
