Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
