dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
