chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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