Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
