So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
