Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize