so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
