nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
