How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm like, not good at living.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
