There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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