It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
