if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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