So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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